On the way out to the sidewalk with my many blue bags filled with recyclables, I was thinking of an imaginary conversation. You see, each.... On the way out to the sidewalk with my many blue bags filled with recyclables, I was thinking of an imaginary conversation. You see, each week I take my recyclables to the curb. Each week I carry them back in. I haven't been able to figure out when they take them or why they don't.

Last week I read an article that revealed the trash collectors were opening bags, searching for recyclables and fining those who don't recycle. The article claimed the city was raking in big bucks from the recyclables and needed more. I suspected they needed the money from the fines more. (I have always suspected it was more profitable to write traffic tickets than catch shoplifters and so we need lots of cars to fund police departments--but that's another topic.)

Back to my imaginary conversation. A typical Pittsburgher in local lingo chastises a neighbor for not recycling... n'at. My apologies to anyone who can speak real Pittsburghese... for better or worse, it's a dying art.

Here goes...

Yinz know they can bust ya fer not puttin out recyclables. Yinz prolly think itza new age thing a mandate from woodstock'n'at. Yea, I read it in na paper n'at. It said these trash guyz'll dig thru yer garbage n'at and find 'em beer cans. Then yinz'll be sorry. They'll bust ya n give yinz a fine. That Murphy guy'z doin it. The city's broke n'at. They ain't got no money. Murphy spent all the money builden 'em stadiums n'at even tho the people didn't want 'em. I mean I like the stillers too, but I like to toss my beer cans withaught worrin 'bout dem stupid blue bags from 'em giant eagle places. en em pirates ain't worth all the aluminum in e Ohio River n'at. Them stadiumz why they need the money from 'em beer cans. Yinz'z Iron City cans is fundin the trash men who come and dig thru yinz'z trash to find 'em Iron City cans. If yinz don't put 'em in em blue bags, it'll cost ya. Don't lisen to me, yinz'll find out.